Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize