Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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