it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
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The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
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It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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