thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize