I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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