honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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