Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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