My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize