He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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