THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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