i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize