mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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