i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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