My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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