I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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