I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize