I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize