My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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