His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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