k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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