i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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