Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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