If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize