I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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