Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize