its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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