I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize