You're so nebulous sometimes
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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