i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize