Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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