i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
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Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
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the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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