mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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