I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
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I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize