my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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