Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
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We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
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I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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