Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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