i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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