Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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