I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
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The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
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Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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