He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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