Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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