thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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