my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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