Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
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My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
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Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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