Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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