He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
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Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
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I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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