i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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