This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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