the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
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i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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