There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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